shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
