The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this boner is exhausting
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
