My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
