I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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