isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
