Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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