So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
