im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Brb crying the tears of my youth
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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