So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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