youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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