I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
