i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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