weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Are my feet made of real feet?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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