I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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