I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
