he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
