As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Randomize
