We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
