Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
