we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
