Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
