so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
