it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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