WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
