a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
