I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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