Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
