Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
