I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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