If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
