I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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