What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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