Fuck appropriateness.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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