So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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