All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
