He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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