i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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