Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
