I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
