I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
