If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sext me about skeletons
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
