dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
