he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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