5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
