Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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