Nicole vs. Life
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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