Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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