Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Farmville is her only friend.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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