just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
