He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
