she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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