Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
