i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
