did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
