: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
