if i can run in heels then i can drive
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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