I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
